To Blog or Not to Blog

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

An Ode to Dieting.

Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number! When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber). I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared; The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please." As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt And prepared once again to do battle with dirt---
I said to myself, as I only can "You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!" So--away with the last of the sour cream dip, Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished "Till all the additional ounces have vanished. I won't have a cookie--not even a lick. I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie, I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry. I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore--- But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot. Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

Compliments of Dogwalk Musings


At 4:40 PM, Blogger stebbijo said...

Yep -- it is all about being a BIG LOSER! I want it bad -- really bad! But, tonight I get to drink some wine. A woman has GOT to have her cabernet! I don't have to give it up EVERY night!

At 8:01 PM, Blogger Bre said...

I bet wines not that bad for you, maybe it's got lots of calories, but no fat I'm sure.

At 7:36 AM, Blogger Patches & Mittens said...

Mom says red wine is really good for you! (not in excess, of course) Purrs to you for being so nice!


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